Just Listen (Doo-Da-DO!)

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Saturday is First Principles day at Better Endings. We focus on a principle that fosters ‘better endings’ with regard to our weekly topic. All this week we have been emphasizing “mindful communication” or mindfulness as a Better Endings principle. The underlying behavior associated with mindfulness is: Just Listen. That can mean both listening deeply to another as well as listening deeply within.

The Big Buddha

We cannot HEAR if we are not in a LISTENING mode. WE cannot LISTEN while we are talking in our head.

So, how can we become better listeners in order to be better communicators or to engage effectively in “Alchemical conversation”?

Perhaps you might say–now I am listening inwardly–that it begins with setting a proper INTENTION.

Ah, yes. Well spoken. And how can I or we set a positive intention to communicate deeply and well?

Be open and direct about your intention; seek to establish common grounds.

But intention is not always explicit in the moment of exchange.

Then LISTEN so you may HEAR your friend’s intention, rather than swiftly react.

Does Listening need to be mutual for alchemical conversation to ensue?

Yes. “Your state of consciousness is your level of acceptance.” So is the other’s.

What can be HEARD when I/WE Listen deeply?

What can be SEEN is HEARD with the HEART.

So mindfulness is being Heartful.

Heartfulness is being Mindful.

Words fade in significance. Unconditional Love is All.

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Can you tell in the ‘conversation’ above Who is conversing with Whom? Alchemy is Archetypal!

Better Endings to You!

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The universe is always speaking to us.
… Sending us little messages,
causing coincidences and serendipities,
reminding us to stop, to look around,
to believe in something else,
something more.

~ Nancy Thayer ~

Reblogged from Soul Gatherings 

I welcome your Comments below, or you may send your insights for a Guest Blog, or your Story to be posted!

Practice Mindful Communication

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Have you ever wished you could go back and change those words you spoke in a relationship? or with a departed loved one? or with your child? Are there certain situations that seem to “bring out the worst” in you, instead of the best, with respect to communication? Here then is your chance to revise what you said then, or to better prepare for what you will say, next time.

Tuesdays are Prompts List days at Better Endings. I invite you to use the list of topics below to write/journal, actively contemplate, or talk about a REVISION of a communication situation in your life. Create a dialogue that revises or remodels how you did, or would, engage in a conversation, to improve the outcome more in the direction you might wish that sort of conversation might have gone, or could.

Woulda/ coulda/ shoulda…but if you practice the principle of Better Endings we are developing weekly with this blog, you CAN change habits and improve communications in the present as well as envisioning how you might have done better in the past.

Already this week since I have been practicing some communication “re-writes” with respect to recent workplace and past personal relationship situations, I find myself becoming more mindful in the present moment with email and face-to-face conversations. Mindfulness, especially Mindful Listening to others as well as to ourselves, is the First Principle of Better Endings that governs the Prompts List this week.

So, here is a Prompts List, below. How might you apply a revision to one or more of the following situations? Go ahead, Practice Better Endings! I invite you to pay attention afterwards as you go through your daily life, to see how you may apply this principle Now!

  • what you wish you WOULD have said
  • workplace communications
  • email communication
  • social media communications
  • what to say to someone who has lost a loved one
  • what you wish you had said to a departed loved one
  • how you might rewrite or revise a conversation that went awry
  • how you might repair words said under stress or duress
  • talking with certain others: your child; your boss or employee; your spouse/ significant other; a stranger;your pets
  • changing bad communication habits (e.g. situational cursing)
  • revising road rage thoughts or talk
  • improving specific kinds of situations in which you have trouble communicating
  • finding just the “right words” (e.g. editing)
  • self-talk: positive affirmations
  • self-talk: revising negative self-talk
  • other-talk: revising critical harping or gossip

Origami Mouths For Conversation, Discussion Or Communicating

“The best way to capture moments is to pay attention. This is how we cultivate mindfulness. Mindfulness means being awake. It means knowing what you are doing.” ― Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life

Please feel free to share your results, comments, insights, and stories!

Better Communication to You! – Linda